Life: Mostly endings...

I thought today I would be telling you about how I'm so excited for my parents to get here and my big crazy family to come join me for graduation tomorrow. And I am excited about that.

I thought I would tell you today that I'm teaching English at the Say Say English Institute in Mokpo, South Korea. But I'm not.

A few days ago, I interviewed to teach at Say Say. The interview went okay. I certainly had mixed feelings about it. But I guess it went well because the next day they offered me a job.

I told Manfriend it was likely I would take this job. And he asked what that meant for us. I told him the same thing I've beens aying since March, "I want to try a long-distance relationship. I love you and I think it's worth the effort." And this time instead of saying, "I don't know," he said, "I don't think I can."

And that's when I started crying. We talked about it more. And I asked what would happen if I stayed here. I love Salt Lake City and I could find work here. I wouldn't mind staying. And if it meant staying with Manfriend, I might.

But he was determined to break up, I guess. He said I couldn't not go that I've been talking about teaching overseas for too long. That I'll always regret it if I stay. And he's right.

I just wish it didn't have to come to this. I guess it will just be one more things that ends this weekend.

Fuck.

Food: I need a bigger stomach so I can eat more

The disturbing porn star-esque leering pig should not be taken as an indication of the barbecue that awaits you. Other possibly creepy factors include the maze of a restaurant space packed into what appears to be a converted factory and the paper dishes.

But then you remember, "Oh yeah, this is supposed to be a southern comfort experience" and that means picnic tables, paper plates and hot sauce.

And that's what Pat's Barbecue is, my friends. A delicious romp through barbecue to the accompaniment of live music. The weekend I was there with Big E, Amber and the family Blues on First was playing.

I love this band! They played last year at the Snowbird Beer Fest and they were perfect for beer sampling. Turns out they make barbecue even better.

I was thrilled to find red beans and rice on Pat's menu. After my Atlanta trip last summer, I was happy to see one of my Southern favorites on the menu. I also ordered the 1/4 rack of pork ribs and a Cutthroat.

The red beans and rice did not disappoint. They took me right back to Georgia with just the right amount of spice, ham hocks and beans all mixed together. I wish I could figure out how to make this dish.

The pork ribs! Oh man, the pork ribs! I took one bite and I was in love. The meat was so tender and juicy it just fell off the bone. I took Big E's suggestion and mixed the hot sauce with the mustard sauce. It was so good! Mmm...mmm...mmm...was had by all.

I also enjoyed the corn bread, but by the time I got to it I was so full I only had enough room for a couple of bites. So good...I can't wait to go back with Ava sometime soon.

Pat's Barbecue fills up quick so get there early to grab a seat. You'll be glad you did!

Food: Lemon cake cookies

I used the recipe from Half Assed Kitchen. I threw together a box of lemon cake mix, a 1/2 cup of butter and two eggs. One suggestion I have to make is to let the cookies rest in the fridge overnight (or up to 48 hours).

I rolled my in sugar since I didn't have powder sugar on hand. And let them cook for about seven minutes in a 350 degree oven.

They came out soft, chewy and delicious.

Enjoy!

Life: Moving again

Actually this isn't about me physically moving, nope, not yet.

I'm planning on moving the blog over to WordPress. A new host will provide me with more options to build a website I like more. And I hope you will find easier to navigate, read and enjoy.

When the new blog is launched I'll post a final good-bye to blogger and new navigation.

Thank you for reading! I hope you continue to enjoy my blog.

Food: So good, so naked

Naked Fish Japanese Bistro in Downtown at 67 West 100 South is Salt Lake Magazine's Japanese Restaurant of 2010. And there is little question why.

Naked Fish is undoubtedly my new favorite place for sushi in the City of Salt. It started when Manfriend, Ava, Erin and I walked through the doors into the beautifully decorated space. The website says the concept of Naked Fish is to serve contemporary Japanese cuisine in a swanky Downtown location. They definitely hit the mark.

The place feels very modern, comfortable and clean. The bathrooms are AWESOME! I want to take the sink, floors and walls and move them to my apartment. Seriously if there was a shower I would move in.

We didn't make a reservation so we missed out on the private omakase rooms, but our table was still comfortable.

We started off with some drinks. Ava and I ordered some cocktails. My Cosmo with champagne was a touch too sugary for it to be my favorite drink, but it was well made and yummy. Erin had a glass of wine that paired well with the sushi. And Manfriend tried a Japanese beer for the first time. Not surprisingly, the beer went best with the sushi, but that's not keeping me from more cocktails at Naked Fish in the future.

The sushi rolls are between $7 and $12. One roll was plenty for me--so Naked Fish can be done cheaply. But it was Ava's birthday so we splurged.

These were hands down the best sushi rolls I have eaten. Ava ordered the caterpillar roll and loved it. I don't remember what roll Erin ordered, but I believe it was the tekka maki roll. It was also outstanding. I ordered a stand-by favorite of mine, the Wasatch roll. I was very impressed with the freshness of the ingredients, the solid construction and the great mix of flavors. Manfriend ordered the Mexi roll, while the flavor was great it was too hot for me, and I barely made it through one piece with a glass of water.

At this point, I had deiced Naked Fish is the BEST. JAPANESE. BISTRO. EVER. Manfriend disagreed. He insisted the mark of a good Japanese restaurant is in the vegetable tempura. He disagreed with Ava and said Tsunami was better. So of course, I had to take him up on the challenge. And I promptly ordered the vegetable tempura.

Oh.My.God. It was amazing! The asparagus, bell peppers, onions, mushrooms and Japanese squash were all cooked perfectly. The tempura batter itself was crisp, light and delicious. The sauce on the side was also wonderful and went fantastic with each vegetable. Although I can't even begin to guess what was in it.

After the vegetable tempura, Manfriend acquiesced and agreed Naked Fish is the best Japanese restaurant in Salt Lake City. And that was before the ice cream.

The waitress suggested mochi ice cream for dessert. We had the plum and green tea ice cream rolled in mochi. (I'm not sure what mochi is, but I think it's a red bean paste.) I love, love green tea ice cream. It was the perfect dessert to end such a wonderful meal.

I can't wait to return to Naked Fish. And this time I'm making a reservation.

Life: T.S. Eliot and other cool literary people

I've been reading The Norton Anthology of English Literature. And I love it! I'm surprised by how much I'm enjoying the poetry and prose published between World War I and World War II.

So far I've read T.S. Eliot and "Black Elk Speaks" by John G. Neihardt. It's weird to see the contrast reading them right in a row like that.

And T.S. Eliot is amazing! I've come across so many great insights in his work. It really makes me think about what life must have been like for him in the 1920s and 30s. I also love that he spent seven years writing just one poem. According to the book, Eliot was instrumental in the movement of modern poetry, but I think most of you will remember him for saying,

This is the way the world ends

This is the way the world ends

This is the way the world ends

Not with a bang,but a whimper.

--The Hollow Men

And interesting tidbit? It's a play on the children's rhyme, "Here we go around the mulberry bush."

I'm in love.

Food: It's like you're drunk or something...

Ava's discovery of UrbanSpoon.com has led us down an interesting path. A path you come to when you are hungry, lazy and tired. A path that leads to Koyo Restaurant.

Manfriend, Ava and I arrived at Koyo after going to Iron Man 2, and the answer is yes, it is bad ass. The small restaurant was inviting once we got through the odd entryway. We waited awkwardly for a minute before our waitress sat us.

And this is where things get interesting.

There were three tables across from us in those nifty tea rooms with the rice paper walls. And one of the guests was very, very drunk.

So instead of telling you a story about delicious, perfectly prepared tempura, rice, fried chicken and beef sukiyaki, I'm going to tell you a story about how not to be obnoxious in public.

Rule number one: Don't drink until you can't stand up. Drunk Girl was so loud that the three tables around here could barely have a discussion among themselves. And needless to say, the talk of the restaurant was Drunk Girl in the middle.

Rule number two: Don't drink to the point that your friends are embarassed. When Drunk Girl left, it turned out she was meeting friends of a friend for the first time. The table quieted down considerably, but there was laughter at Drunk Girl's expense once she was gone. And Sober Friend explaining, why Drunk Girl was not a friend of hers anymore.

Rule number three: Don't drink until you steal someone else's shoes. I'm not making this up. Drunk Girl attempts to leave. Platinum Blonde has to help her stand. Drunk Girl puts on the first pair of flip-flops she sees and stumbles away. Later Sober Friend leaves and says, "I think she took my shoes." Oh yes, Drunk Girl, was so far gone she took someone else's shoes.

Rule number four: Don't be louder than the baby crying. Yep, after Drunk Girl left, I was suddenly aware that a small baby was crying on the other side of me for most of the night. Hmm...maybe I would rather listen to drunken stories of ex-boyfriends than a baby crying.

Rule number five: If you are Drunk Girl, or likely to ever be Drunk Girl, stay home.

An entirely delightful evening with wonderful food and friends was ruined by a complete stranger. Next time I see you Drunk Girl, I'll switch out your vodka for water and stuff painkillers in your food.

Not even kidding.

Alcohol: G'morning, Bloody Mary!

I'm not sure what posessed me, but I bought a bottle of tomato juice. Then 48 hours later it hit me: I should be able to whip up an awesome Bloody Mary with my standby stock of vodka.

You see, where this is going? You are impressed.

So I took a jigger (ounce and a half) of vodka, an ounce of Worcesthershire sauce, a dash of Louisana Hot Sauce and a dash of siracha, half a cup of tomato juice, 1/2 a lemon freshly squeezed and shook it up with some ice in my cocktail shaker. I strained the concotion into my glass added a slice of lemon, a celery stick and salt and pepper.

Ta-da!

It was delicious and went awesome with Mad Men season three re-runs. Almost like Sally made it for me.

Food: Meet the Parents Part Deux

Bambara Restaurant is housed in the Hotel Monaco in Downtown. Manfriend's dad was sweet enough to invite me to dinner at his favorite Salt Lake City restaurant when he was in town. On this visit, The Dad's wife came, too.

The Dad, The Step-Mom, and The Sister were running late which gave me time to explore the lounge of Bambara. It's the Vault. And it's awesome! The room is beautiful and Bambara used the vault to handle the Zion Curtain law (bar tenders could not serve drinks across the counter until 2008) in the most beautiful way I've seen. The bar tenders were very friendly and set me up with a great side car and conversation in just a few moments from when I took a seat at the bar.

Manfriend got a beer on tap and we had a nice, comfy half hour before the family showed up. We were promptly sat by the host. (He was amazing!) The outstanding service was the theme for the evening.

I started off with a tuna tartar The Step-Mom was brave enough to try. It was delicious. The tartar was served with fresh, homemade potato chips. The combination of soft flesh with crisp chip was amazing. The textures went together perfectly. The softer flavor of the tuna paired well with the lightly salted potato and the the Italian herb salsa cut right through. This is a dish I wish I could prepare on my own.

Next I tried the chicken because it was served with mashed potatoes. (It's physically impossible for me to say no to potatoes.) And I was so in love with this entree. The chicken was moist, the skin was crisp. It was so good! But after all that tuna I went straight for the veggies. The potatoes were so creamy and smooth, with mushrooms and garlic thrown in for delicious measure, I couldn't stop eating them. I ate until I was past full.

Then I ordered dessert.

A lovely dish of ice cream including strawberry, lemon and vanilla flavors. The waiter also brought us adorable cupcakes. The homemade ice cream was as good as it sounds.

Bambara brought me one of the most impressive and satisfying meals in my life with superb service. I would love another excuse to go back.

Not to mention, the company. The Family and I had a great time. And Manfriend also commented on how delicious the calimari, steak, and cupcakes were.

Bambara is worth the money.

Life: Famous last words?

Probably not so much, but my final thoughts to sum up my Westminster experience are in The May Issue of the student newspaper.

You can read the article here.

And my favorite article from the issue is here.

And my best interview for this issue is here, and another great interview is here.

Yes, I'm a self-promoting whore. Just deal with it.

Food: Five Guys and a lady

Five Guys Burger and Fries has been blogged, printed, written about and loved by many. I must admit, I am a Five Guys devotee.

They only make burgers and fries. And they do it well. As Bayles says, "That's a great business plan." Every time I've been to Five Guys they've been busy.

I'm also inclined to agree with Naruto on Yahoo! who says, "Best hang over food and the service is friendly and quick." Admittedly, I've never had Five Guys while hung over, I have tendency to stay in my house after a long night. However the service is quick and friendly. And the grease quotient of the food would lend itself to hang over cure.

Here's what I love about Five Guys.

1. The guy with the radio voice. I promise there is a guy who works at Five Guys who is so friendly, so loud and has so much character you expect to hear the theme music to "The Five Guys Radio Show" at any moment.
2. And speaking of music, they like good music. I've never heard anything that makes me grit my teeth from the loud speakers.
3. The burgers. I love that I get to choose everything on my burger. My favorite is the little cheeseburger with green bell peppers, grilled mushrooms, grilled onions and mayonnaise.
4. The fries. My favorite are the Cajun fries with fry sauce. And keep in mind the regular size is enough for two. The serving portions at Five Guys are huge! So order small.
5. The peanuts. They have boxes of free peanuts. I love snacking on a few bites of salty goodness before digging into the main event.

Any time I feel like greasy, quick and easy I find myself at Five Guys.

You can thank Manfriend @WeirdGonePro for introducing Five Guys to me so I could introduce the deliciousness to you.

Life: Jesus is dead, tell him to leave me alone

Before we go any further, I will be discussing religion and I will say things that will upset most of my family and friends.

If you do not want to keep reading, I understand.

You don't need to pray for me. I'm not worried about my soul. You might be. That's something we'll have to live with. This is the story of how I left the LDS faith and God.

A little more than three years ago, my younger brother, Ben and his best friend, Alex were seniors in high school. Until I graduated high school and moved away from home, Ben and I had never spent more than two weeks away. He was my best friend, my little/big brother and my biggest supporter.

Our whole lives we shared pretty much everything--rooms, friends, toys and family. Seriously, people thought we were twins until they saw me bossing Ben around.

It was a Saturday morning, much like any other my freshman year, I woke up at Amber's house. I played with the kids and got ready to go to work later that afternoon. Ava called me around 10 a.m. I could hear instantly that something that was wrong. She told me Alex had died.

My reaction was so strong the world felt physically different. I sat on the bed wondering how the world could move forward without Alex in it. I called my mom.

"Mom," I whispered. My throat was hoarse, my eyes watering. "Alex died."

"Does Ben know?," Mom asked. "You should call Ben."

I don't know if I'll ever fully forgive my mother for asking me to make this call. I was shaking. I was crying. I could barely speak.

"Ben," I said. "Alex died."

I cried for hours. I cried so hard my niece and nephew tried to comfort me. I could barley explain to Amber what had happened. I cried so hard, my body hurt. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move, I couldn't think.

Then I did what I had always been taught to do. I prayed. I kneeled down on the floor and I talked to God. I asked why Alex died, I asked why death existed, I asked why it hurt so much, I asked out loud all the questions I had been asking silently.

And I heard nothing.

There was no voice from above, there was no feeling of comfort. There was me, alone, in a bare bedroom.

I went to Alex's funeral. I comforted Ben as best as I could. I tried to comfort Alex's parents. And I continued to question God, religion and my beliefs. I asked everyone who would talk to me about their beliefs. I researched online and I read everything I could find about God, religion and belief systems.

I found exmormon.org and Atheists of Utah. I want to be clear: I spent a year calling myself agnostic and spiritual. After realizing I didn't believe the LDS religion to be "the one true church," I changed my mind about God. I now believe God, Jesus and Joseph Smith are myths. Ben, as an LDS missionary, strongly disagrees with me.

I think it's fair to say, I'm atheist. I'm not angry. I'm not bitter. I'm frustrated. I want to know why religion matters so much. Many of my family members have wondered how I can still be happy without religion.

Ignoring how much that question bothers me, let me tell you. The purpose of my life is to live. I want to live my life everyday in a way that makes me proud to say, "I'm Krista Mae Smith and I'm amazing." This means I have morals. I believe in truth, honesty, openness, kindness and empathy. And believing in truth is a big part of being a skeptical atheist humanist. This means I doubt claims until they are proven true. This means that science is pretty awesome. This means the natural world is beautiful. And the humanist bit means I believe in the goodness of the people around me.

I'm happy because I try everyday to focus on the here and now and loving every moment in my life. Less in big ideas and more in the day-to-day. This means I love clothes, cocktails and books. This means I avoid angry people, shopping and long lines.

I've thought about religion. I don't want to convert you to atheism. I wouldn't wish the process of losing faith on anyone. I'm telling you this story because I want you to understand who I am now and in some small way how I got here. I won't try to convert you, please don't try to convert me.

Jesus is dead, tell him to leave me alone.